My Faith4

If you’re looking at this page, hopefully it’s because you either want to find out a little more about me, or because you have an interest in faith type issues.

I’m sharing the hows and whys of me “taking a leap of faith” and ending up believing in God because it’s something I am really passionate about. I’m not looking to convince you of anything, but to share what’s happened to me with the hope it will make you think in a fresh way about what is probably the biggest question of all time – what the cheeky monkeys are we all doing here on this crazy planet anyway?!

Christians. Let’s be honest – they’re boring… condemning… hypocritical… and out of touch with a normal society! Let’s just get on with our own stuff and live and let live, right?

That’s what I thought for the first 21 years of my life and it took a really big decision to potentially change my mind on all those preconceived ideas.

I decided to give a relationship with the big man upstairs a try before I was a photographer, when I worked for a record label in London. One day we were on a very long road trip to play a gig in Newcastle. On the way Tony, the lead singer of the band I was working with, began broaching the conversation-killer that is heaven and hell and Jesus. It was a really long car journey and I had a lot of time to look out of the window up at the sky, ponder on the bigger picture and think about things.

I had been raised in a Christian family, but never taken it seriously. Church to me had been a long, dreary way to spend a Sunday morning, mainly endured by passing notes to my equally bored pals throughout each service and leaving as quickly as possible afterwards. As soon as I was old enough to get away with not enduring my parents wrath I stopped. I went off to Uni in London and lived as most students do – with a constant hangover and vague hazy recollections of great alcohol-fueled nights out.

I did feel a little bit like something was missing though – I remember drifting through life having a sort of empty feeling like a ship without an anchor. It used to really scare me for example that everything around me changed or would change. People die, relationships end, jobs get lost and parents split up. What on earth could I rely on in this world? Nothing was solid and unchanging. The one constant appeared to be myself – and shamefully that did become evident in the way I thought about and treated people.

So going back to the car journey – throughout the trip I was beginning to feel very challenged about what I’d heard those many years ago while growing up in Church, and how that could potentially affect the way I lived my life and viewed the world. It did freak me out – all my life I’d gone about looking down and pitying Christians for their boring lifestyles and suddenly I was seriously considering the possibility that it could all be true! The possibility was that I could be wrong. How agonising!

My mind raced: Even if all this God stuff were true, I was not the kind of person that could be a “Christian” – I wasn’t well behaved enough!

Luckily for me, by being a regular down to earth, straight talking kind of guy for the time we’d been working together Tony had already softened up my perception of Christians quite a lot. Over the hours during that journey I can only describe that I felt the “presence” of God. Sounds weird, and it’s kind of hard to explain – it wasn’t a physical thing, just a deep sense of security that there was someone out there bigger than me and that I had a choice to make whether to be for God or against Him.

The answer, although it took about a week to finally make the decision, was obvious. Whether I thought I was a good enough person or not – I wasn’t planning on taking on the creator of the universe as an opponent. So I made the simple prayer that I did believe and if God would have me as I was and not expect me to suddenly become a great and holy person then I’d be willing to give being a Christian a go (I wasn’t looking forward to the whole experience much but I was willing to give Him what I had)!

I am so glad I had that chance to make a choice for myself and to experience that leap of faith. The last seven years have been testing sometimes but it’s also been amazing. Perhaps people at church might have let me down sometimes along the way and I’ve certainly made my own mistakes – but it’s an awesome thing to know that whatever I do God loves me with the unconditional love of a perfect Father. I’ve discovered that He is my anchor through life – the one constant whatever is happening around me. Amazing still that he knows all the bad things I’ve done, all the bad thoughts I have – but He still chooses to love me and hang out whenever I want!

It’s a special feeling knowing that I’m loved, that one day when I die things will only get better and He will still be that one constant rock in my life. He gives me a real deep sense of peace and security and when I talk to Him and sing songs to Him at the top of my voice in the car we have shared the most special and sacred moments that I cannot begin to describe (nor would I want to because they’re between me and Him!).

Why am I sharing this with you?

I’m sharing this because I was a skeptic and yet when I gave God a chance He surprised me. Joy doesn’t even begin to describe it. I want to share my experience with you so you can perhaps feel inspired to take that leap of faith to know God too.

I know for most people God and spirituality is something that is put to the back of the mind along with the thought of our own mortality. It’s not an easy topic and certainly one that raises many questions (and arguments!). But my passion is showing people that there’s nothing more important to make a stand on. Either be for God and get to know Him or be against Him, but don’t be stuck  in the middle neither making a choice one way or the other. Whether you want to know God or not is up to you, but please keep looking til you find peace within your heart that you have the answer. Find out for sure what the historical facts are, pray and see what happens, search and don’t give up til you find out.

Well if you made it this far, you’ve done well! Make yourself a well-deserved cup of tea and maybe browse Amazon for a couple of my fave books as linked below if you’re interested in taking things further!

More reading:

The Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus by Lee Strobel

Purpose-driven Life: What on Earth am I Here For? by Rick Warren

More places to explore faith:

The Alpha Course (courses across the country run for non Christians exploring faith issues)